There’s a habit I keep meaning to build and keep letting slide. Before bed, just ten minutes, going back through the day and actually looking at it. Not replaying it to feel bad, just looking.

I found the practice in the Church’s own tradition, an old one, going back to St. Ignatius. Sit somewhere quiet. Thank God for something specific from the day. Ask him to help you see clearly. Walk back through the hours, honestly, where did I love well, where did I not. Then just say sorry for the second part and ask for tomorrow’s grace.

What’s stopping me most nights isn’t time. It’s that I don’t actually want to look. Paul writes to the Corinthians about examining yourself before you come to the table, and I used to read that as a warning about the Eucharist specifically. It’s bigger than that. It’s a habit of the heart, not a one time checklist before Mass.

Ten minutes, once a day, before I’ve built up a week of things I’d rather not name in confession. Tonight I’m doing it before I do anything else.

Today’s Bible Study

Psalm 139 has David asking God to do the searching instead of doing it alone. Search me, O God, and know my heart. Try me and know my thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. That’s the part I forget. The examen isn’t just me auditing myself in a mirror, it’s an invitation for God to look with me. I’m not accusing myself in isolation, I’m asking to be seen. That changes the whole posture, from dread to trust.

Recommended Reading

If this kind of thing is new to you, Fr. Timothy Gallagher’s book The Examen Prayer walks through it slowly and clearly.